Impossiblilties
by Drop Your Oboe
Summary: Something I wrote a long time ago, about Faithful after he dies. And then Alanna dies. Very odd pairing, I have to warn you. Yes, it's the Faithful story. It's finally updated! And FINISHED!
1. Chapter 1

_Time to go home,_ the cat cried to his mistress. He could feel his life-force flowing away…but no! It was him, he was rising from his body, caught in a surge of power and elation. He threw out his arms and spiraled upwards, forever upwards, up into the coming dawn.

The Divine Realms 

A spot of light shimmered in the middle of the floor of the Court of the gods. Mithros banged his spear on his shield for attention: all fell silent as the shimmer solidified and became visible. The Goddess stepped forwards to greet the newcomer, a tall, lithe man with silky black hair and purple eyes. He shook his head, as if coming out of a daze, and blinked. The Goddess held out a hand to him. "Come here."

He took the offered hand and walked closer. The Goddess tilted his head back until she could look into his eyes, then nodded. "You have done well, brother."

The man smiled. "I did only what you bid of me, sister." His voice was low and slightly scratchy. "But-"

"Yes?"

"I miss her. I miss Alanna." He turned his head to blink away a tear he hoped no one had noticed. "Can I ever go back?"

His older sister shook her head gracefully, if not sadly. "No, my brother. Your time on earth is done. However, I can grant you a place in the stars, at my feet."

His eyes shone. "Thank you, sister. This means more to me than you can ever guess." Softly, he added, "My own place in the sky, to watch over her forever."

He bowed as the Great and lesser gods filed out, nodding to him. As he turned to go, a hand caught him by the arm. He turned and looked into the pale eyes of Shakith. He smiled. His favorite sister. "What was it you wanted, sister?"

"You loved her." It was not a question.

His eyes filled. "I didn't realize it, when I was-with her," he said softly. "When I was a cat. But now, now that I can never go back-yes. I loved her. What was there not to love? It was impossible not to. Yes, yes, yes. Sister, you don't know how good it feels to say that, and how painful. Just think-all that time, and I couldn't do anything-had no reason to-and now, now that we'll never see each other again, I finally realize the truth." He glanced around the empty courtyard. "And no one to hear me but you, sister. No one cares about some lesser god, a, a mere guide for mortals. No one pauses to think what might happen, after the two are torn apart. You know what it's like? Losing a bit of yourself, and each time, a bit more, until you feel there's nothing left, and you just let yourself drift until you're called upon again." Teary violet eyes met distant milky ones. "Do you understand, my sister? Can you?"

"I do, more than you know." Her voice became distant and prophetic. "But what is this I see? A girl, a young, powerful mage, and with her…" Her voice became ragged; her breath caught in her throat. She blinked. "You will go again, my brother, and do more than you ever thought you could. You will go again." She straightened, and, with the air of a lost person, wandered out of the room. The man, catlike, walked to the golden throne and sat down. Alanna…he'd never really said her name out loud before. "Alanna," he said, just to say it. But his sister was right, he would never see her again, for she would find someone else. "It could never be," he whispered, and wept. "Never."

And so, Reader, this lesser god, a guiding spirit, wasted through the years, stayed, waiting, always waiting for the day she would come, watching her from the stars, and always wondering, wondering, weeping, and wasting away, until one day…

What happened?

That I will not tell you. Will this wretched, divine creature's life ever be completed? Or does he simply disappear into some eternal cycle? His fate lies in your hands, dear Reader…

And there I leave it.

_a/n:_

_And so our godlike friend disappears into the mists of time until one day, The Authoress Herself decided to write another chapter! Ideas (Suggestions are welcome) :_

_Who is the girl Shakith Saw? (probably some distant several-generations-passed relation to Daine)_

_Where does 'Faithful' aka the Nameless God appear and what's his name as a cat?_

_What happens to them?_

_Thank you people! Next chapter coming soon._


	2. Chapter 2

Jon walked across the ruined Gate of Idramm, stopping to rest a hand lightly on the sword stuck fast in the middle, and sat down next to George on the bench. "I thought I'dfind you here," he said to the older man. "How's it going?" He tried to keep his voice light, but failed. "Mithros, George, look at me. I miss her too, you know."

George looked up. "She knew," he replied brokenly. "She said to me, the day before she died, 'I'll miss you,' and I thought she was dreaming." He sobbed softly. Jon slung an arm around his shoulders and led him out of the room. "Face it, neither of us are as young as we used to be. Everyone's got a time to go. Thank the Goddess that hers never came sooner." George nodded mutely. "I'll see you later?" asked Jon. He nodded again and took a different stairway up.

Later 

Jon stood at Alanna's funeral pyre, eyes overbright, lit torch in hand. He swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat during his speech. "I think I speak for all of us as I say this last: we miss you, Lioness. Black God grant you peace." He lit the pyre. "So mote it be." The vast crowd echoed him. He sat down on a bench, watching the smoke spiral until the wood was burned up. He looked around; he was the last one there. Getting to his feet with a sigh, he walked slowly back towards the palace.

The Black God took Alanna's hand and led her gently down a long hallway. "Me this time?" she said half jokingly. "And here I thought you'd come for someone else, like all those other times." The god stopped at a door, opened it, bowed her in, and vanished. She gasped. Why, it was her home! The Swoop! Exactly as it had been the first time George had brought her here. George…for a moment she felt sad, then she cheered up. She was just glad to be home, and he would eventually follow. For the moment, she didn't care. She was the same too, she noticed, younger again. Something clicked on the stone floors behind her. She whirled, hand reaching for a sword that was not there, and instead began to run. "Faithful!" she yelled, snatching up her cat and placing him on her shoulder. "I missed you. How've you been?"

_I've been better,_ was the reply. _I've missed you too. _He jumped off her shoulder. _There's something I need to show you. Step back._

"Um, alright."She complied, puzzled. Faithful sat up straighter and began to glow. Alanna grabbed her ember-stone, watching as the cat blazed with white light. A column of the light began to grow around him, and she let go of the stone as she was nearly blinded. "Faithful? What the heck is going on?"

"My name is not Faithful" someone said. She looked around-there was no one there. The voice chuckled. "But you may call me that for now." The white light thinned, and a man stepped out. He had purple eyes like hers, but his hair was black, and he moved with catlike grace. "I am the cat you called Faithful."

Awed, she bowed. "You-you're a god?" she asked. "Am I really dead, or is this some strange dream?"

A hand grasped hers, pulling her up. "Trust me, this is not a dream," he told her. "I am a lesser god."

"It seems weird to call you 'Faithful,' then. Have you got a name?"

"Actually, I haven't."

"Well, then, um. It's odd to be talking to a god like we're old friends."

His laugh sent a shiver up her spine. "Aren't we? You're the same; I'm the same. Just like old times. But so different." He took her other hand. "Do you miss everybody?"

"Not really," she said, surprised at herself.

"I missed you, when I-died. Didn't you see me at night?"

"I thought that was you!" she cried. "But I wasn't really sure. It all makes sense, now. Oh, Faithful, dying's really weird. First you're a god, and now I don't care about anything-" She broke off. He was watching her intently. "Something wrong?" she asked.

He still held her hands. He pulled her slightly forwards. "Do I scare you, like this?" he asked.

"No," she said, puzzled. "Why do you ask?" She felt odd being this close to a god.

"Alanna-" he paused. She frowned-he'd never called her that before. _And besides, before he was a cat, not a god. _She looked at him, then away.

_Oh, shush,_ she told herself, and looked back at him. He took a deep breath. "Alanna-I never really realized it before, but-" He cocked his head and sighed, catlike again, and smiled. "Things will have to wait. Come." She laughed again as he pulled her closer. They began to rise. "Where are we going?"

He smiled. "My sister requires an audience." He nodded to the Black God as the god waved them on, smiling. He could see how his brother felt. But he didn't have to know that.

_Wow, sorry. I didn't realize that I hadn't posted this bit before. Please don't be mad at me, it's very hard to get over writer's block while being stormed by a horde of pitchfork-wielding, torch-carrying reviewers._

_Review Replies:_

_music nerd: Doh. Me? A cliffy oneshot? You must be kidding._

_The Inklings: That's all right. Thanks._

_summerbluez: Yay, thank you! gulp Oh nonono…not _that_…please no!_

_shangmistress: I have no idea why I'm doing this. But she was sick and NO it isn't, that's too Alanna, you idiot. I told you! Bradley!_

_I am _**so**_ sorry this took so long. I may put this on hold for a bit while I finish Midwinter and the other two stories that go with it, but I'll put up the next chapter as soon as I get it written and I have time to wait for my stupid slow connection._


	3. Chapter 3

Alanna choked as they rose through veils of wreathing smoke, tendrils of it catching around her arms and her neck until she felt she would be strangled. She coughed, and her companion laughed. "Begone, you pestilences! Stop troubling my guest." The smoke split and flowed around him. He made a curious picture, she thought, half-laughing, framed by swirling smoke, and softly radiating pale violet light. "Raelmysts," he explained. "Sprites of a sort. They're not used to mortals." He appeared to listen, then told her, "They say they like your hair."

Alanna laughed, but looked around, curious. They were in a small courtyard that seemed to be set in a forest clearing. Roses twined gently up the walls and a few of the tree trunks visible above the stone. With a puzzled expression, she turned to the god. "I thought you said-"

"I lied," he said with a grin, all intentions of telling her his thoughts suddenly fading. "I wanted to talk."

_And far away, in a country called Tortall, two tears splashed onto a stone._

The stone was of a different kind than that of the rest of the floor-stones: dark gray, smooth but for the carvings on it. Its surface was free of dust, for it had been set there only a day ago. A shaft of sunlight fell across it momentarily, lanced through by a tall black shape. The shape made its way over, knelt, and trailed a hand over the words neatly engraved in its surface.

_Lady Knight Alanna of Trebond and Olau_

_Beloved wife, sister, mother, and friend_

_DATES H.E. to DATES H.E._

_Tortall remembers you, Lioness_

Around the edge of the stone was carved a decorative pattern of rampant lionesses.

Alanna put a hand to her cheek and shuddered, breaking off in the middle of a sentence. "What was that?" she asked. "It felt so…I don't know…"

"Have you ever heard the expression 'a goose just walked over my grave'?" She nodded, and he continued. "That was something of the sort, though I can't assure you that it was a goose. You'll still be able to feel it so early."

The shadow stood, feeling someone enter the building behind him and come to stand next to him. "It doesn't do her justice," he said quietly.

"I know," replied the other.

The god once known as Faithful looked into Alanna's face and saw all the impossibilities of what he felt there. Gently, he eased the last traces of his magic off her so gradually that she didn't feel it at first. A look of dismay flitted over her face. "Something's wrong." She bit her lip as her disconnected feelings came back to her, and he knew she was thinking about her friends. "It's hard…I know I'll see them again, but not for a long time, and it's…" She shut her eyes and he watched as a tear squeezed out, then reached over and took her in his arms. After a while, the noises ceased, and she remarked, "I got your shirt wet."

"It'll dry." And indeed, it did. He moved back and looked down at her. "You have to leave."

She startled. "What-"

"Not like that…even mortals who are already dead can't stay here very long. The Black God calls."

She sniffed. "Right. So I guess this is goodbye?"

"Not forever, I hope." He turned her gently. "Through there."

She turned and hugged him, then went to the door, but paused, her hand upon the wrought-iron handle, and looked back. He nodded, and she was gone. Just like that. Something died then…he couldn't name the feeling, but remembered something he'd once said…_it's like losing a bit of yourself, and each time, a bit more, until you feel there's nothing left, and you just let yourself drift until you're called upon again…_

"I lied," he repeated in a whisper. "I _am_ different. And Alanna, oh, Alanna, I love you…"

-- fin --

_Ahem, yes…Did I forget to mention that I would be _in_ the horde of pitchfork-wielding and torch-carrying reviewers?_

_Thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed!_

lbqoc - kitty-moogles – NealsChick - music nerd – spinnerofdark - Pink Squishy Llama - summerbluez – tortallanrider - shangmistress - Aani Hiwatari 12

_I'm kind of frazzled that I actually finished a story and that it has a sequel-what, I didn't mention the sequel? Well, watch for it-it's called Fate's Wind and should be up tomorrow if I get time to finish it, and if not, within the week. Till then!_


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